Another Bravery Award???? @ 10/02/2007 01:30:00 PM

It would be nice to see my son receiving another certificate for being a brave warrior who brave through the op that might come for him....but still, it pained me to see him going through knives again. I have always dislike taking roller coasters but I hated it even more when this roller coaster rides involved my son.

Yesterday medical check-up gave us not-so-good news again. Neurosurgeon from the hospital told us that it might be inevitable for Jayden to go through yet another op for the spine-nerves issue. Previously, Jayden's doctor already said that from the look at his back, it seems that his spine is pulling into his nerves. If so, this might affect his walking later on. An ultrasound scan was scheduled and we were pretty happy when the doctor said anything is fine from the scan but she will still want the neurosurgeon to take another look. Thus an appointment was fixed with the neurosurgeon to take a look. Though the surgeon was in a rush for another appointment somewhere else but a look at Jayden's back show that it seems quite highly likely that he has to have another op. No other information was given because the surgeon wanted to only commit after a MRI scan is done on him. Does it mean that the surgeon might make a mistake regarding the op? Does it mean Jayden might not have to do another op? I am quite doubtful though because from the look and the tone from the surgeon, he seems to send messages to me telling me.....be prepared for the op.

After hearing that, I feel like breaking down. Why? Why him? Why does he have to go through so many downs? He hasn't done anything to deserve all these, you know?

Since day one of my pregnancy, he has not have any good life. He even almost lost his life because of me. Now....this again. Could it be my doing that made him having to suffer yet another time?

I don't know and I really don't want to think so much. I keep telling others that we should look on the brighter side. I acted as though things will look fine but as a mother, I am in fact shaking inside. Any op has its risk even though the surgeon did said he is expert in this field. Don't forget, any op, even minor ones are consider BIG ones for Jayden as he is just a baby.

I just praying real hard that this news about having an operation is just another false alarm. I really praying real hard.

But if.....it is a must again, I pray even harder that it is a smooth op for him.

It will, right?

Another Bravery Award???? @ 10/02/2007 01:30:00 PM

It would be nice to see my son receiving another certificate for being a brave warrior who brave through the op that might come for him....but still, it pained me to see him going through knives again. I have always dislike taking roller coasters but I hated it even more when this roller coaster rides involved my son.

Yesterday medical check-up gave us not-so-good news again. Neurosurgeon from the hospital told us that it might be inevitable for Jayden to go through yet another op for the spine-nerves issue. Previously, Jayden's doctor already said that from the look at his back, it seems that his spine is pulling into his nerves. If so, this might affect his walking later on. An ultrasound scan was scheduled and we were pretty happy when the doctor said anything is fine from the scan but she will still want the neurosurgeon to take another look. Thus an appointment was fixed with the neurosurgeon to take a look. Though the surgeon was in a rush for another appointment somewhere else but a look at Jayden's back show that it seems quite highly likely that he has to have another op. No other information was given because the surgeon wanted to only commit after a MRI scan is done on him. Does it mean that the surgeon might make a mistake regarding the op? Does it mean Jayden might not have to do another op? I am quite doubtful though because from the look and the tone from the surgeon, he seems to send messages to me telling me.....be prepared for the op.

After hearing that, I feel like breaking down. Why? Why him? Why does he have to go through so many downs? He hasn't done anything to deserve all these, you know?

Since day one of my pregnancy, he has not have any good life. He even almost lost his life because of me. Now....this again. Could it be my doing that made him having to suffer yet another time?

I don't know and I really don't want to think so much. I keep telling others that we should look on the brighter side. I acted as though things will look fine but as a mother, I am in fact shaking inside. Any op has its risk even though the surgeon did said he is expert in this field. Don't forget, any op, even minor ones are consider BIG ones for Jayden as he is just a baby.

I just praying real hard that this news about having an operation is just another false alarm. I really praying real hard.

But if.....it is a must again, I pray even harder that it is a smooth op for him.

It will, right?